Thursday, 4 June 2009

I suppose its once a month then....

I haven't written for ages, so how about a quick overview for June?

I started making Bento boxes for Aaron and I for lunch, which are really cute sweet lunches to have, they are also extremely healthy and just overall mood enhancing.

My holiday to Thailand and Australia is booked! We are going for 3 weeks leaving on the night of my birthday(31st July). I am very excited, and plan to do my PADI open water, a 7 day detox, relax, relax and ermmm relax. There will also be lots of reading to do to prepare for my part time degree n Biodiversity and Conservation which I am studying at Birkbeck.

Not drinking has been going rather well, its been more like every-other weekend which is definitely better than once or twice a week!

Naomi has joined Fitness First with me and apart from an injured back last week I have been going pretty much 4 days a week, including twice a day for some of those days! Unfortunately I haven't lost any weight, but I still feel healthy with I suppose is the point. This week I am going to make a concerted effort to keep an eye on my food (including too much chocolate from the work fridge!!).

That's it for now, more updates as soon as - including some goals I think!

Sunday, 3 May 2009

Once upon a time

Around a month ago to be exact, was when I last wrote this blog! Never mind eh, I did have such good intentions to write around 3 times a week, hey-ho. I have been enjoying life. I have been promoted at work and received a pay rise. I have not lost as much weight as I had hoped, although to be honest I haven't been trying as hard as I am going to try, and plus I am really starting to like myself the way I am.

My boss also granted me to leave work early twice a week so I can attend the Uni course at Birkbeck. Things really seem to be going my way at the moment, but still I feel unsatisfied!

It's probably mostly down to being ill, how scared was I? I thought I had swine flu, but I didn't. The doctor gave me antibiotics for a throat infection, I feel very tired and have mucus coming out of my nose and lungs. Joy. It could be worse, it could be just a normal weekend and I could have work looming tomorrow, so lucky for me I don't.

Currently I am the only person in the office (kinda) so I have to go in, even if I am dieing - which I had to do last week when I was feeling very rough. Lots of lovely vitamin C and pain killers keep me sustained, then lots of sleep when I got home.

A lot of time has passed from my last entry, and as you can read lots of things have been going on. Work has been busy and lonely. Life has been busy, fun and mostly happy, which seems weird, as I am questioning myself to whether things are boring or just the way they are supposed to be - without drama and too much worry. When I do get some spare time it is usually calm and gives me time to reflect, which is a great tool for re-evaluating situations and changing them for the better.

One of my issues is that I need to learn and trust in myself. If I did this, maybe I wouldn't think that I am so undesirable - I don't mean to members of the opposite sex. This will likely be a lot of hard work and some counselling, and I really think it will be worth it.

I read an interesting quote the other day which I am trying to find. It's in a book in my godfathers house, I will find it again. Anyway it was something along the lines of you can feel hurt from other people, but really it's you that makes that hurt a reality - a very true quote to my life at the moment. The way I feel is starting to change and it's taking me a while to get used to!

Thursday, 2 April 2009

Thursday 2 April

Here I am, sitting in the office without my other colleague. There's not much to do, so my boss is letting me leave at 4.30 pm so I can go to Buster's spring jazz show, which should be fun.

I forgot to post the picture of the cheesecake I made - so here it is


It was tasty - even though I never had a full slice. I am very proud!!

Currently I am trying to catch up with my google reader reading so I think I will get on with that and post later tomorrow.

Bye byes xxx

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

April Fools Day...!

Today is the beginning of a new England or at least a new financial structure altogether or at most a new political structure, which would benefit us - that is - if we could get enough people to take an interest in what their tax money is paying for. If you haven't already guessed it's the start of the G20 summit today, here is an article about what people want.

Which got me thinking yesterday, that there does seem to be a change coming about, rather similar to the radical 60's "free love" change that we have all read/learnt about in History. I hope it happens. There is so much that needs changing in the world.

I read this article today. It basically makes me think that the film Children of Men, does have a large possibility of becoming reality (and it's not the first time I have thought that) - I know that just because people aren't getting married it doesn't mean we won't have children, but, seriously, is it going to help or hinder a child who constantly only has one parent? Not all single parents are bad, but it does help to have the support of a partner there for your child, if not just for their psychological well being. Who knows, maybe things will change so much in the future that traditional parents how we know them today won't exist and I'll be sitting there saying "it wasn't like this in my day."

Another factor that makes me think this is possible is the lack of biodiversity in the world - or the notion that up to 150 species die everyday. Without the diversity of species eventually everything will die out, because without the very naturally planned eco system in place things will start to "spiral out of control..." Hows that for a cheery April Fools Day?

Last but not least this article completely supports my ethos that we should work three/four days a week and have four/three days off, why? Because this is life, we're not made to gallivant around producing money, surely we are meant to enjoy it to some extent, see our friends? Meet partners? Go out during the day on a weekday? If there was less greed in the world it would be possible to have cheaper, cost effective ways of living. People would have the time to sit, relax and think about themselves, not large corporations. Find innovative ways of growing new crops, saving water, finding ecological and human friendly ways of doing things.

An interesting fact you will be thrilled to know is that my parents got married on April fools day, yep, they did. In fact (apparently) many of their friends thought the invitation was a joke and did not turn up. Hmmm, I think I will look for a lovely wedding photo of my parents so I can post it up here soon (subject to availability).

So it's April Fools Day - the day my parents got married, marriage is on the decline and it's the start of the G20 summit - lets hope it's all for the better.

Thursday, 26 March 2009

Friday Now.

I had a lovely dinner on Wednesday night, I had chicken tagine with vegetables, couscous and for starters Aaron and I shared the mixed platter. We even had pudding!! Bombed chocolate ice cream, which is basically chocolate ice cream with a fondant centre, covered a shell of milk chocolate then dusted with icing sugar and chocolate sauce. Last but not least we finished the meal with mint tea.

We didn't end up going to see the film as we had a leisurely dinner, afterwards we had a quick drink with Oisin in the railway and got a taxi home.

Yesterday I had to be in work at 8 am - as this morning!! I went to Helen's last night and had a great catch-up. Jack even cooked dinner, which was tasty burgers with salad. YUM!

I have had a nice day at work today - although tiring. I feel a lot more relaxed after lunch and am looking forward to a drink free weekend. By the way don't forget the clocks go forward one hour on Sunday!

What about the silly thing below - apparently I look 80% like a man, can you f-ing believe it? Its my silly large manly jaw. Although all of the women I am similar to are hot so that's OK.

The lady I work with has a compulsive shopping habit when she gets stressed. I wish I was on the same salary so I could have the same excuse, some day soon - I will be! A post soon will be about work mates, farting in work etc etc. I will start working on it soon - promise.

I took a scan today, I rather like the flamingo's that you can see from my top, but otherwise it looks a bit like a zombie victim running away (or maybe a sucker fish stuck on the side of a tank?!?!), which all in all is OK for me - but not really the look I was going for.



I have been reading up on loosing weight today and have made some great discoveries; loosing weight is scientific, loosing weight takes effort and commitment. Basically I need to commit to myself. If I commit to myself fully fledged and eat healthily for the rest of my life and have sweet treats and things like cheese not to often I should be OK.

My first goal is to loose 10 lbs and counting (so hopefully more) by the end of April - watch out for updates.

Ultimately I would LOVE a figure like Scarlett Johansson - she has 34C bra size is 5'4" and weighs 115 lbs - around 8 stone 2 lbs. Well really I can only wish for now. I will aim for my first target weight and see how I go from there.

I have ordered some new "magic" underwear for work which is arriving on Saturday - so that's one thing to cross of my list.

Lets see how many things I can achieve this weekend....x

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Wedneserday

I remember once, when I was small (probably around 5 or 6) my great grandma, god rest her soul and my grandma arguing about how you spell Wednesday, all because I asked. Turned out I can't remember who was right, but at least I now know how to spell it.

This evening I will be going to see the watchmen with Aaron, after we have gone for a Moroccan meal at the Kazbar on Venn St (same street as the cinema). I am hoping to have a nice relaxing, yet fun time, although not too sure what to expect from the film as I am not familiar with the comic book like Aaron is.

I think its high tide to write some more goals: (wow - I just looked at my last goals and I have hardly achieved any of them...!!)

I did:

  • Chuck out and sort cables/drawer under my bed.
  • Get Richard to look at my bike - although this needs looking at again (he made the saddle higher).
  • Paid Mum £150.
  • Planned exercise (but haven't done any...)
  • Been getting into work early/on time!
  • Did some ironing and have been keeping on top of washing.
I also upped my HTP 5 intake to 200 mg and it seems to be doing the trick. I am not feeling so low in the morning, and seem to be obsessing less.

New Goals:
  • Get back red light and basket for bike.
  • Attend Saturday class and rest of month as planned; make a decision as to whether I should pay for another term or not.
  • Ride my bike to work and back at least 3 times a week (good exercise)
  • Carry on writing down my food and exercise.
  • Clean up "bits" in my room.
  • Keep on top of washing and ironing...(maybe do all ironing on a Saturday morning so that I don't have to do it during the week.)
  • Plan a months food for lunch/dinner with Candida free food in mind.
  • Read the rest of current book The Diversity of Life by 5 April.
  • Have one day a week to have a bath/do nails/face mask - I think Mondays are best.
  • Get a hair cut.
  • Go and get waxed!!
  • Buy some "magic" underwear for under work clothes etc.
That seems to be enough to be getting on with for now - I think I will give myself until next Saturday 4 April to achieve them (apart from the book mind.)

I took a photo of what I ate for lunch today:



Yum, tasty goodness! I had homemade vegetable, lentil and chicken soup, spinach salad, half a red pepper and 3 ryvita (I only ate 1 though).

This Sunday I am going to do some volunteering, which I will update about shortly.

x

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

Tuesday 24 March

Well, I think I have been doing rather well with writing my blog often and stuff.

I got up to a lot this weekend, I managed to go to both birthday parties and still get up for work yesterday!!

Here's a picture of me dressed as Deva, overall I was very happy with my costume and mask, I would say I was in the top 3!! On Saturday I was very tired as I got in at 5 am from a long Friday night of FUN FUN FUN, first I meet Charlie at my house, we cycled to Clapham North and went for Tapas. We then went to Beirodrome with Leon, Aaron, James, Craig, Callum and so on. I then cycled with Charlie to Ceri's house then at around 3 am we all walked to Leons.

Richard took Aaron and I for Nando's on Saturday afternoon, I was very hungry and ate loads and loads. We then went to some shops to get supplies to make Deva mask and mothers day gifts (which we ended up getting from Lidl's - a orchid and potted rose plant!)

Deva's party was a great success, many people came in fancy dress and everyone seemed to have a good time. I left with Richard at around 3 am - we decided to get £1 pizza's on the way home and walked.

Sunday was restful, I got up around 11, had breakfast in the garden and then went to Tesco's to buy a chicken and other bits. I cooked roast dinner which was scrummy with mashed carrots and turnip, broccoli and roast potatoes. It was then to bed early for an early rise on Monday.

A very busy weekend, with not much time to myself.

Thursday, 19 March 2009

Thursday 19 March

I catch myself wishing that I was doing what other people seem to be doing all the time; relaxing, going travelling or on holiday, loosing weight or getting fit, having wonderful clothes, a job they love, being creative...

OK so being creative is the main one for me at the moment, but looking back at my blog, I haven't done that badly - the photos of Charlie in Hyde Park are rather pretty and the scans I have done seem artistic. Maybe I am being creative, just not completely in the way I would like to. I want to make a cloud out of white felt with closed eyes and a smiley mouth.

Thinking about it, how am I going to fit both being creative/making things and conservation education into one job? Or will I have be a superwoman and do two jobs? I suppose thinking of cunning ways to get or maybe even trick people into environmental conservation could be a rather creative aspect to overcome. Only time will tell I suppose.

Now that's got me thinking if I should create a blog with things I have seen and find interesting, such as the "tooth" and "dentist" and the transvestite that was featured on my other blog? Or maybe I should have just put the kiwi's on that blog? Decisions, decisions, I suppose I could change the name of the other blog couldn't I? What Katie did next or something, that could make a comical title.....let's see...its a choice between What Katy Did or What Katy Did Next or something else of course. Adventures in Katieland. Kate and Tea? Well I do like tea (even though its decaf) and its pun on cake and tea. Or how about afternoon katie.

Afternoon Katie!
A short but sweet (or sometimes not so short) look into what Katie sees, thinks and does at various points throughout her day/week/life. Yep sounds good. So this would include things I make (like the daily scan) photos I take, general rants and so on.

I think I'll rename this blog something more interesting, along the lines of Katie Wants. Sounds like me and sounds good and catchy - which will basically have my goals and updates, although I expect not as often as the Afternoon Katie! Also this will be a good place for me to put such things as I want to make a cloud (idea above) and then on the Afternoon Katie I will show the finished product.

Onto execution....

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

Its been a while....


Loyal fans you await a new post no longer. It will be short but sweet. I lost 2 lbs this week which was made me happy to find out and I haven't done much else....

I took this photo of a "tooth" and a "dentist" outside Clapham Junction train station advertising NHS dentists. Actually I first saw them last Thursday and laughed at their half-hearted attempts of trying to flog the leaflets (which reminded me of me and, well practically any other friend if we did the same thing.) As soon as I walked past them I wished I had taken a photo, and vowed that if I saw them again that's what I would do. Well I saw them again. The funny thing is was they were both kiwi's (forgive me if I am incorrect) and with the same dreary voices were standing opposite each other waving the flyer's about, in a dare I say it "flight of the conchords" fashion.

The "dental surgeon" didn't even blink and eye when I asked if I could take a photo he hurried along to stand next to the "tooth" and stood there until I was happy. Great! "Tooth" was sweet and said "I don't even know why I am smiling you can't even see my face!" after having just said to the "dentist" "is it done?" Well yes it was done, I showed them the photo which both of them deemed as not bad and I was on my merry way. Not bad for a iPhone photo even if I do say so myself.

This evening I am taking my dearest mother and grandmother for a early mother's day dinner in a Sushi restaurant in Clapham Junction. I can't wait. I will update tomorrow.

Toodles.

Thursday, 12 March 2009

The Thursday I thought was Friday...yes while im young yes i wanna have some fun!

Yes, last night I was sitting at home thinking "tomorrow IS Friday." How wrong was I? You know the funniest thing is that my colleague said the same thing, and that got me thinking (and not for the first time) that isn't it weird when you "feel" like a day is going slowly or faster than usual, or you mix up your days, more often than not, someone else will agree that they feel the same way - now that can't just be a coincidence - can it? Further investigation required.

Anyway this song has just popped into my head so I thought I would share the lyrics:

Here I Come; Barrington Levy - you can listen to it here

On the intercom, rosie tell me to come
cause shi didnt hav a daughta
cause shi did hav a son
shi seh di lift doesnt run
run up the stairs and come
and if u dnt come quick
you not gonna see your son
so i grab a bunch of rose
and i started to run
here i come ( oohh )

two months later she said come and get your son
cause i dnt want your baby to come tie me down
because you are old
and i am young
yes while im young yes i wanna have some fun
run me down
shudlee boop deee woodlee diddlee oooooooooh, zeen

im broad, im broad, im broader than broadway
yes im broad, im broad, im broader than broadway

When you go to poking what is like a stage show
you have man that sling, DJ, and broad...
pull it down the radio......(ohhhh zeen)

On the intercom, rosie tell me to come
cause shi didnt hav a daughta
cause shi did hav a son
shi seh di lif doesnt run
run up the stairs and come
and if u dnt come quick
you not gonna see your son
so i grab a bunch of rose
and i started to run
here i come ( oohh )

two months later she said come and get your son
cause i dnt want your baby to come tie me down
because you are old
and i am young
yes while im young yes i wanna have some fun
run me down
shudlee boop deeeee woodlee diddlee oooooooooh, zeen

extra size, extra size, extra sizer than sizeway
extra broad, extra broad, extra broader than broadway

On the intercom, rosie tell me to come
cause shi didnt hav a daughta
cause shi did hav a son
here i come ( oohh )

Cause im broad, im broad, im broader than broadway
yes im broad, im broad, im broader than broadway
Over the ocean and over the sea, all of the girls dem are pose for me (ohhhh wheee)

On the intercom, rosie tell me to come
cause shi didnt hav a daughta
cause shi did hav a son
shi seh di lif doesnt run
run up the stairs and come
and if u dnt come quick
you not gonna see your son
so i grab a bunch of rose
and i started to run
here i come ( oohh )

two months later she said come and get your son
cause i dnt want your baby to come tie me down
because you are old
and i am young
yes while im young yes i wanna have some fun
run me down
shudlee boop boo woodlee diddlee oooooooooh, zeen

Cause im broad, im broad, im broader than broadway
yes im broad, im broad, im broader than broadway


I think I'll have this song in my head all day. Many a time I have sung along to this song, but the only lyric that really struck me was apart from the obvious and repeated (broader than broadway) was because you are old...while I am young I wanna have some fun, which overall makes the song very cheerie and has made me think that yes I should be having fun whilst I am young.

Wednesday, 11 March 2009

Wednesday 11 March







Hello bunnies. Its been a while since I last posted, that's because I had last Wednesday and Friday off work and Thursday I didn't have enough time to write (or at least I don't think I did).

Some scans that I took today above....from bottom to top are the correct order...I don't know why this programme rearranged them! I like them, I just thought of the phrase randomly and then put it on a sticky note with permanent ink drew around it like a speech bubble cut it out and hey presto.

The first one is funny (the bottom one) as the scan started without me being fully prepared so it is not as posed as the last one of my face. The second one was more of a test, the third one was done in colour and very large so I could play around with it more and is obviously more thought out than any of the others, and well the last is just me playing about in paint with the hand scan.

I think I could do some interesting scans with the hands - like piggy jokes and so on. This could become very interesting who knows I may even end up publishing a book "year of scans" or something.

Apart from scanning, my life hasn't been very prolific recently but it has been satisfactory. I ended up drinking at Jen's 24 Birthday in her new flat (which is lovely) in Tooting, and I did deeply regret it, but I don't want to hold on to that regret for too long. I really need to go to AA so plan to go on Friday or Saturday or maybe even Sunday this week. 12 steps here I come.

Aaron and I were very up and down on the weekend but seem to be doing fine now. I think we need to spend some more time alone - we have been spending an awful lot of time together recently. The only thing I then worry about is that Aaron will spend all the money.

OK then so things I have achieved recently
  • Set up standing orders to pay of credit cards for Abbey and MBNA! YAY!
  • Cancelled Abbey direct debit.
  • I have been keeping on top of my washing a bit - but not my ironing.
  • Applied for the University - I got an interview for the degree! Which means my place is basically guaranteed!
  • I can't as of yet apply for funding until my place is confirmed, and it doesn't open until August 2009 anyway - but I have downloaded the forms.
  • My room has been rather tidy recently - yes - you can see the floor!
Right this leaves me with some more to achieve, not to mention that fact that I put 3 lbs back on last Monday of the 3.5 lbs that I lost! I haven't really done any exercise and I haven't really done much else on the list. I have some free time this afternoon and this evening I endeavour to:
  • Write letters claiming back money to banks/credit cards.
  • Chuck out/check old cables under the bed.
  • Do some washing and ironing this evening.
  • Get Richard to come round and look at my bike (I have already emailed him).
  • Plan two months of exercise/eating.
  • Carry on writing down my eating and exercise (from now on I will call this EEdiary).
Tomorrow (once my cheque has cleared also wooohooo) I will:
  • Pay mum owed money.
  • Buy a bike basket and mask for the fumes on the way to work.
  • Get some cuff links for my lovely new TM Lewin shirts that I managed to pick up for a bargain in the sale.
  • Go to morning exercise class (I must, I will, I must, I will!!)
  • Clean up "bits" in my room and give them permanent "homes". As my mother says "everything has it's place."
That seems to be enough to be getting on with for now!

I think I am going to up my HTP medication to 200mg and see what happens, I am feeling the affect now, but would like to not feel as on edge all the time and think this is due to the dosage.

Right then, that's all folks (I mean for now - obviously). x

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

Tuesday 3 March


Its March! March came around very quickly. Just yesterday seemed to be the first few days of January after Christmas and now we're nearly 1/4 through the year!

My picture for today ( I know I don't have a picture everyday, but heyho) is this one which was taken by Tom Brajerski when we couldn't get into Cargo yet everyone else we went with did. We ended up in a very modern, cosy bar just down the road and between us we got a punch which was in a gramophone - rather cool. The toilets were very cool and covered in old school tapes from ceiling to floor (but I didn't take a photo of that).

Today I am feeling very tired, Aaron turned up at my house at around 3 am after going for drinks with Sam and his Uni friends. I didn't get home till 1 am - so I didn't really feel confident that I would have a refreshing sleep.

Update on goals

I lost 3.5 lbs this week - and plan to keep it off!

I haven't done any yoga yet - but did have a hectic weekend.

I went to Thursdays exercise class.

I did keep my bedroom tidy over last week, but let it slip at the weekend, so I am going to tidy up this evening.

I haven't paid mum yet or called the bank....hmmmm I need to get on top of these goals.

I have a day off tomorrow, so I think I'll chuck out some old clothes and call the bank, and do some yoga, along with a class.... ttfn x

Monday, 2 March 2009

Last Friday of February....



OK, so last Friday was the last Friday was February - as the title suggests. Charlie came to meet me for lunch (we had Yo! Sushi) and then we went and looked at all the designer clothes in Harvey Nics - it made me wish I was rich.

We then came back to my office to do some work (Charlie even did some work for me too!). I took the time out to go and have a short walk with Charlie in Hyde Park before she went home on the 137, I took some wonderful pictures.


Surprisingly these were taken on my iPhone which doesn't have a zoom lens or anything. I have enhanced the colour slightly, but just on windows picture editor (which isn't that good.) Work finished at 7 - I ended up having to stay late due to a big file that I forgot I had to complete, but I got it done in the end!

Aaron, Deva and Oisin where in the BBC in Balham, so I got on two buses to go and meet them. I then decided that I wanted to go to Braindrop in Kings Cross. I wore my bright red fifties dress and had a rather good time.

Saturday was my mum's 60th Birthday party, which I had to attend after only getting a short 4 hours sleep on Saturday morning. I had a great time dancing to 60's music with all the grown-ups. My brother was there along with his dad and the rest of my family - so it was nice to see everybody.

Paige had Bacardi Breezers for the first time and was a little drunk, it was funny. Paige stayed at mine on Saturday night and we went for lunch with my brother, my sister in law, her son (who would be my???) his girlfriend, my mum, Nicky my godfather and our lodger Tina. We went to Mezzano's in Clapham Junction. I don't think I would go back again - it seems to be a chain Italian restaurant, and although the food wasn't terrible I would rather go to the local Italian's.

Paige and I went to Superdrug and a charity shop after lunch and I got a really cool fifties style silk skirt with pink flowers all over it. Then I just relaxed for the rest of the day and ate some lentil soup for dinner.

x

Friday, 27 February 2009


Scanned picture of the day!! I am alone in the office today, so I didn't have to worry about anyone catching me! I like the tongue and the scarf aspect of this scan. Next time I am going to have my hands on the scanned like I am being pressed up against a window!!

Thursday, 26 February 2009

Finally my supporting statement...

As a very active pro-environmentalist, the study of Biodiversity and Conservation appeals to me greatly. I would like to make a difference to the world and I believe by learning about the complex environment we live in and how to conserve this I will be helping. Ultimately I would like to run a company to promote and help people and/or businesses to conserve the environment along side or for the government.

I studied my A/S levels at Richmond upon Thames College; I did enjoy my courses, but not as much as I had hoped – I decided to stop studying and to further my independence and development through exploring work opportunities. I started full time work after completing a year’s study and have been working full time ever since! I don’t have any relevant study for biodiversity and conservation – but I have the maturity and desire to achieve outstanding results.

My interest in animals and plants started from a young age and I still enjoy learning facts about animals and plants via TV shows, the internet or books. I also consider myself lucky to have been inspired and taught many things by friends and family of which many have a keen interest in wildlife and the environment.

Ecology interests me and I am concerned to see how we can help improve the current environmental status. As previously mentioned I am an enthusiastic environmentalist, using natural cosmetic products where available, using energy efficient light bulbs and recycling as much as possible. I am very keen to conserve as much wildlife as possible and to work with the environment in harmony. I’m currently looking into doing some voluntary work with the Natural History Museum and the Wildlife Trust and know I will find a worthy voluntary position.

I am currently working in Westminster as an Office Assistant and 2nd Personal Assistant for a wealthy individual, this is my third full time job and I have been here for just under a year. I gained a distinction in a secretarial course run by Souters College so I could obtain this role and will soon complete a first aid course. I enjoy the ongoing small project management and the organisation skills needed for this role – which I feel would be very handy for use of time and deadlines for this course. I have greatly improved on my communication, reading and writing skills since coming into employment, which should help me with my studies – especially essay writing and communicating with the teachers and other students.

During my spare time I enjoy spending time on the common, exercising, riding my bike (which I have recently started riding to and from work) and researching on the internet, which can be anything from the latest eco gadget to political or celebrity news. I also enjoy eating out and cooking – food is another passion of mine. I have recently started to help a friend clear out her back garden so we can start growing our own vegetables and plants. I am keen to one day have poison dart frogs as pets within a tank that would be a self cleaning mini-ecosystem, and have keenly researched my options.

My friends and family are important to me and are a great support to my endeavours; I am a godmother to two already and think this shows my level of responsibility and maturity. I expect to get lots of support mentality and physically whilst studying part time and working full time.

I hope I have expressed fully my passion and desire to join the course and will be taken as a serious student.

Thought this would be interesting to post - its a scanned image of me! The picture for my blog is also a scanned picture. I get my thrills by doing them when other people are in the office - which is better than some other "thrills" people in offices have, so I can't complain!!

Thinking of doing a daily/weekly/monthly update - although will have to find new ways of making the pictures interesting.

Goodmorning Miss

Good morning! Again I rode my bike to work this morning. On the way home last night I realised that my knee's are staring to hurt. I have looking at my bike and discussed with Tina, Nick and Aaron last night that I need to bring my seat up. The only problem with that is that then I will be further away from the ground, and less able to reach it....I think I might have to go to a bike shop on the weekend.

I have found several things good about biking; it takes less time to get to and from work, its free, its good for the environment and its good exercise. Oh yes and it makes me happy - there that's 5 reasons. Pretty good if you ask me. I burn 160 kcal per 30 mins on the bike which means I am burning 320 kcal just getting to and from work - a good amount to be burning and a good stretch of cardiovascular exercise.

When I woke up around 7 this morning (well at first it was 5.30 AM, but I didn't want to get up!) I tidied my room for 10 minutes, put a wash away and put a wash in - it didn't take very long and seems well worth the effort to be able to see the carpet! I do wonder how long I will keep it up for - hopefully for a long time and then I can get my froggies (poison arrow frogs as pets)!

I yet again forgot to get the money out for mum that I owe her - so I will get this out in my lunch break today, I gave her £50, I owe a further £60 and then owe some house keeping money.

I am going to write my supporting statement this afternoon so I'll be back... x

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

She hits, she scores, she goals...

SHORT TERM GOALS


Health/Me – prize – a facial!!
  • Loose 2lbs
  • Go to 2 exercise classes; Thu and Sat.
  • Do yoga 3 times; Wed, Fri, Sun.
  • Take more care of what I am eating; take lunch in and plan dinner.
  • Apply for university course and funding.


Work - prize - good for my CV/work ethic
  • Leave the house an hour before I am due at work; go to bed by 23.00, wake up at 5.30 AM every day.
  • Have clothes and bag organised.

Money - prize - saving money later in life!
  • Pay back mum all owed money.
  • Pay MBNA extra money to get rid of debt quicker.
  • Call Abbey and cancel direct debit.
  • Set up standing orders with Natwest to pay MBNA and Abbey next month.
  • Claim "card insurence" from MBNA and Abbey where possible.

Home - prize - piece of mind and less nagging from Mum!!
  • Chuck out old cables under bed.
  • Go through old clothes and give to charity/have boot sale?
  • Hoover/clean bedroom.
  • Get rid of "bits & bobs" on the sides etc...find a permanent home for these.
  • Keep on top of washing and ironing.


Things I have achieved recently:
  • riding my bike too and from work; it is good for the environment, healthy and saves money.
  • Paid off full loan for laptop!!
  • Eating healthily - making an effort to make healthy veg juices and breakfasts.
  • Making the switch to non-caffeine.
  • Using natural deodorant, body wash and toothpaste without SLS and parabens - good for the environment and me!!
  • Having 9 clean days and relapsing only 4 times over the last 18 weeks.
  • Waking up earlier during the week and staying up.
  • I tidied my room this morning!!


LONG TERM GOALS

  • Be a better friend and partner; by better I mean to treat everyone how I would like to be treated, not loose my temper and not talk down to people.
  • All debts to be paid by end of May 2009.
  • Keep room tidy by dedicating 15 mins a day to upkeeping and 50 mins once a week for a "big tidy".
  • Keep healthy by eating low saturated fat food, keeping treats to a minimum and eating lots of fruit and veg.
  • Keep fit by carrying on my cycling to work and attending more classes.
  • Make more swaps where possible regarding environment and me friendly cosmetics/products.
  • Learn how to make my own clothes.
  • Get weekly time to dedicate to studying.

wednesday wishlist

today today today today today. today is wed nes day.

I rode my bike home yesterday and then to Balham and back. I meet my friend Massi who I met at Plaza where I used to work. We dined in The Paddyfields, which seem to have had good reviews in the past but for me, didn't live up to them, firstly the staff where too pushy and not polite. Secondly the food was an average price but the quality and portion sizes where not as you would expect, I had laksa soup, which wasn't lacking in the size of the bowl and the amount of broth - but was lacking in the amount of vegetables and noodles. The stairs down to the toilet are ridiculous.

I then rode my bike to Leon's house, where Leon and Aaron where painting Leon's bedroom. We watched the latest Flights of the Conchords episode and then went home. I had a row with my mum when we got back in - she was annoyed that Aaron had borrowed ONE pair of socks and so proceeded to go through my room and collect all my odd socks and wash them, which you would think of as nice. But no it's not; firstly Aaron usually uses all the socks and I wish he would pair them up so they could be washed and then wonderfully brought back together - but he rarely does. Secondly I really hate my mother going in my room, she just invades my privacy without asking or thinking, we have discussed this many times and much to my dismay she still doesn't get the message.

It feels like for me the more and more she goes in my room and makes comments about it not being tidy - the more and more I just don't feel like tidying it, it makes me feel deflated and my feelings unappreciated. Its obviously one of the stubborn aspects of my personality, but I really feel like I would feel more secure if I didn't think someone was going through my bedroom every morning. I think my mum has a obsessive compulsive disorder about cleaning, and that's made me - well - avoid it.

This morning I come into work on my bike and it took my about half and hour, and the chain didn't come off - YAY!! I am definitely going to take the bike shop some nice treats. My legs are still a bit achy today so I didn't go to a class this morning, I plan to go tomorrow and Saturday morning.

I am going to put my to do list and re-evaluate my goals today so watch out for more....

Tuesday, 24 February 2009

Tuesday 24 February

Today I rode my bike into work for the first time - it only took me half an hour, even though I had to put the chain back on twice, the third time I tried to put it back on, it had got caught around a bolt on the chain cover thingamajig - anyway to cut a long story short, I ended up being very close to work, yet 10 minutes late and then having to take a extra long lunch break to visit two different bike shops for help.

The first shop was Evans, who were very sweet yet not very helpful as they couldn't do the job straight away - they said it would cost £25.00 and take at least half an hour. So I then tried Action Bikes, who very kindly looked at my bike and fixed it for free....they said they would take donations, but I didn't have any on me. I will be dropping them off a donation and/or some cakes and lovely treats as I think it was very kind to fix my bike!

I was very worried about riding into work on my bike, but it seemed to go OK - my legs did ache at some stages, but I think I just need to stretch them more. I am going to book my bike in for a "check-up" next month with Action Bikes - seeing as they are so friendly.

Last night I met Charlie and Jen in b@1 for drinks, I had 2 non-alcohol cocktails which were tasty and smoked a few rollies, I also popped into Sainsbury's to do some shopping and put it in my backpack to ride home. I am very proud. I feel slightly more independent being able to ride to more places by myself and carry shopping. Charlie, Jen and I had a good time and talked about good things and bad things, and as usual it ended to quickly. I was however very proud of myself for not drinking. We discussed my counselling situation and Jen made me think about paying for my own counselling - which would be a last resort for me, and would have to be done after paying off all debts (after May 2009). Charlie seems to think that I don't need addiction counselling, but I do not agree and think that addiction is different for everyone. It makes me feel slightly angry that she can't appreciate why I am putting myself through this, and why I would put myself through this if I didn't have addictive behaviour.

I am feeling very positive today and have been sleeping and eating rather well over the last two days, which really seems to have had an effect on my mentality. I feel healthy and free at the moment and more confident that I can keep on not drinking. Saying that I also feel a bit like I am on a roller coaster and emotions are going up and down frequently!

At be@1 we talked about Poppie who Aaron was seeing for a while after we split up. It still hurts me to talk about her and I don't really want to, but know that I should get used to the idea.

My facebook account is still suspended, although I did have a sneaky peak today - not much to my surprise there wasn't anything new to look at and it was rather boring, it definitely is a waste of my time (even though I still feel tempted to go on it).

I decided this morning whilst I was waking up in half sleepiness that I am going to do the Biodiversity and Ecology course at Birkberk University part time. I am slightly worried about the commitment aspects, but hope to really concentrate on the course and dedicate a lot of my time to it when it comes around in September. It has taken me a while to decide and I am very close to the deadline for the course and funding, so have a tight time. I am trying to draw up my supporting statement. I think saying that I am very passionate about the environment should be good enough, seeing as I think I will truly enjoy a career in that area.

I don't really have much else to say. Aaron went out and got drunk again last night, it is times like this when I really thin about whether we want the same things from life and if we are drifting apart again, I hope we're not.

I am meeting Massi this evening in Balham and looking forward to it.

Over and out...

Monday, 23 February 2009

I don't know why

But I just ate a whole load (nearly a whole medium) of toblerone, maybe more, some of one and then some of the other (it was two for £1.50 in waitrose). I don't even know why I went in there, I didn't have any cash and I didn't need to buy anything. I obviously deeply regret this and don't know why I ate it and then didn't even enjoy it that much. I think maybe I was craving the sugar or the caffeine.

I feel so guilty and like I want to throw the chocolate in the bin, but I know I shouldn't. I think I will give it to Aaron when I get home, but don't want to eat any more of it before then, so I am going to have to stop myself. I need to focus on my goals and no that its one day at a time, I might have just messed up but I CAN make the rest of the day better. I will be eating a healthy salad for dinner and going to do an hours exercise class.

I think I was also feeling insecure due to the weight I already put on this week. I need to change my habits...!!

Monday, Tuesday...Happy Days.

I slept a lot this weekend, and when I say a lot I mean a lot..I went to bed around 10 PM on Friday night and got up at 8.30 AM that's 10.5 hours sleep, I then slept a further 10 hours on Saturday night, so far 20.5 hours sleep, I then napped for 2.5 hours on Sunday - that's 23 hours sleep and then last night I slept from 10.30 PM - 6 AM that's 7.5 hours sleep so in total that makes 30.5 hours sleep over 3 days just over 10 hours on average per day/night. WOW. I think that's an awful lot of sleep - but it did do me good.

So here I am again, my 8th day clean and feeling calm, not very confident that I can keep it up and a bit fat too. I've put on 1.5 lb's this week - which is disappointing but last weekend I did eat 2 mint cornetto's and some takeaways....so I only have myself too blame, along with lack of exercise.

I have started taking 5-HTP tablets which are a pre-cursor for the making of serotonin in your brain and help with stress, anxiety, depression, over eating etc so I thought they would be perfect for me - they are also completely natural - they are made from ground up seeds of a plant.

Lets get back to a quick overview of the weekend - on Friday I came home and cooked pizza for dinner along with a big salad, it was very tasty, I then went to bed at 10. I woke up at 8.30 on Saturday and went to the fit for a princess class for 9 on Clapham Common, no one I usually see was there - so it was good to see some new people and to do some exercise. My legs are still aching and need to be stretched some more. I then went to Covent Garden with Aaron, we had lunch and he surprised me with a new necklace from Betsey Johnson, which he managed to buy as a surprise whilst I was in the shop!! We had lunch in a Greek place - I had vegetarian lasagna and Aaron had a meat one. I then met Oisin and Charlie on Clapham Common, and went to Strada for dinner, where I had a small salad starter thing and 2 parcels of mozzarella and spinach ravioli. It was very nice which I then finished off with a panetonne al forno which is a bread and butter pudding made from panetonne which had a toffee sauce and vanilla ice cream....yum. A couple of us went to the railway and then Leon and I walked home.

On Sunday I got up around 10, had smoked salmon and scrambled eggs for breakfast and then fell asleep pretty much straight away again until 15.00. I spent many hours of spare time searching for a head torch and some wellies that belong to Ceri, but I can't find them and came to the conclusion that my dearest mother chucked them out (as they were sitting in the hall way for a long time).

Now, I then tried to go and get a Brazilian wax, but unfortunately I had "trimmed" my hair to short and was unable to get one....so that we happen next week I suppose. I had Sunday takeaway thanks to Aaron which was Nepalese food, it was very very tasty and there was enough left for me to have lunch today. I rode my bike more than usual this weekend, which I think is also adding to my leg aches (which I am trying to think of as good).

I have successfully cut down on my tea and coffee and am drinking decaf versions instead, and instead of sugar I am having Agave nectar which has a GI of 11 - 20 which is much lower than sugar/glucose of 50+. Which means really I am having no stimulants and lots of relaxation/sleep and 5-HTP's (100 mg every night before bed) and in turn I am feeling rather calm and not craving attention or sugar/stimulants like I usually do. It's nice and weird at the same time.


Friday, 20 February 2009

Hmmm, Monday feeling?

Talk about all week feeling!! I am up and down like a roller coaster. I have recently been "non-drinking" drinking which is when you are "not drinking" but end up drinking anyway. I have started to wonder how this can possibly be not drinking. Well I suppose it means that drinking has been cut down by 50% as I am not drinking every weekend, but still its not "not drinking." Alas I start again.

I will be going to my first official AA meeting next week - I did plan to go tonight but my next new venture of having a slight detox is starting to give me headaches and tiredness so I just want to sleep lots. I have tried to curb the headaches and tiredness (which I assume are from little sugar and caffeine) by having high juice which does have some sugar in, but obviously not enough to get rid of my headache. My slight detox basically means whilst not drinking I am also trying to be as healthy as I can be, which means eating as much fruit and vegetables as possible - and mainly just fruit and veg if possible. Today I made myself a fresh banana, blueberry and strawberry smoothie with a little soy milk and soaked oats for breakfast. It was yummy - I think next time I will add some water so it is not so thick and hard to drink from a water bottle (attractive).

Lunch was home made yellow split-pea and bacon soup, again, scrummy but next time I will water it down somewhat. Oh yes and did I mention I am trying not to have caffeine - which means no tea and/or coffee all day. No dairy either - this shouldn't be so hard as I am not too fond if it anyway and am allergic. So all in all that means an awful lot of not a lot. Its fine - I will be fine " I can live if living is without you...I can live.......I can live - well yes somewhat...." lol, how I make myself laugh. Writing this blog is managing to get rid of my headache. Or could that be the decaf tea I am drinking with agave nectar and rice milk...? The cheek of tea and coffee companies also - decaf isn't actually decaf - its just got as little caffeine as possible in. Liars! Still its a means to an ends, if I can cut down gradually and stick to 1 - 2 "decaf" teas a day and not have a headache all the time I will be thankful.

I have thought of a new way to loss weight and exercises and blah blah blah, but I have to get to work now. Seeing as I have deactivated my account on damned face book I think I'll give lots more of my time to this lost cause...ttfn.