Tuesday, 24 February 2009

Tuesday 24 February

Today I rode my bike into work for the first time - it only took me half an hour, even though I had to put the chain back on twice, the third time I tried to put it back on, it had got caught around a bolt on the chain cover thingamajig - anyway to cut a long story short, I ended up being very close to work, yet 10 minutes late and then having to take a extra long lunch break to visit two different bike shops for help.

The first shop was Evans, who were very sweet yet not very helpful as they couldn't do the job straight away - they said it would cost £25.00 and take at least half an hour. So I then tried Action Bikes, who very kindly looked at my bike and fixed it for free....they said they would take donations, but I didn't have any on me. I will be dropping them off a donation and/or some cakes and lovely treats as I think it was very kind to fix my bike!

I was very worried about riding into work on my bike, but it seemed to go OK - my legs did ache at some stages, but I think I just need to stretch them more. I am going to book my bike in for a "check-up" next month with Action Bikes - seeing as they are so friendly.

Last night I met Charlie and Jen in b@1 for drinks, I had 2 non-alcohol cocktails which were tasty and smoked a few rollies, I also popped into Sainsbury's to do some shopping and put it in my backpack to ride home. I am very proud. I feel slightly more independent being able to ride to more places by myself and carry shopping. Charlie, Jen and I had a good time and talked about good things and bad things, and as usual it ended to quickly. I was however very proud of myself for not drinking. We discussed my counselling situation and Jen made me think about paying for my own counselling - which would be a last resort for me, and would have to be done after paying off all debts (after May 2009). Charlie seems to think that I don't need addiction counselling, but I do not agree and think that addiction is different for everyone. It makes me feel slightly angry that she can't appreciate why I am putting myself through this, and why I would put myself through this if I didn't have addictive behaviour.

I am feeling very positive today and have been sleeping and eating rather well over the last two days, which really seems to have had an effect on my mentality. I feel healthy and free at the moment and more confident that I can keep on not drinking. Saying that I also feel a bit like I am on a roller coaster and emotions are going up and down frequently!

At be@1 we talked about Poppie who Aaron was seeing for a while after we split up. It still hurts me to talk about her and I don't really want to, but know that I should get used to the idea.

My facebook account is still suspended, although I did have a sneaky peak today - not much to my surprise there wasn't anything new to look at and it was rather boring, it definitely is a waste of my time (even though I still feel tempted to go on it).

I decided this morning whilst I was waking up in half sleepiness that I am going to do the Biodiversity and Ecology course at Birkberk University part time. I am slightly worried about the commitment aspects, but hope to really concentrate on the course and dedicate a lot of my time to it when it comes around in September. It has taken me a while to decide and I am very close to the deadline for the course and funding, so have a tight time. I am trying to draw up my supporting statement. I think saying that I am very passionate about the environment should be good enough, seeing as I think I will truly enjoy a career in that area.

I don't really have much else to say. Aaron went out and got drunk again last night, it is times like this when I really thin about whether we want the same things from life and if we are drifting apart again, I hope we're not.

I am meeting Massi this evening in Balham and looking forward to it.

Over and out...

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