Wednesday, 26 May 2010

Updater

A quick update of my life recently...I've signed up for some personal training sessions at the gym (10 to be exact) and have told the personal trainer that my main size goal is 10 and to be fit so I can run without feeling too out of breath..exciting, I am anticipating maybe trying to talk myself into giving up half way through.

I have also started keeping two diaries; one emotional and one food. They seem to be running smoothly for now...2 days so far!!

Other things I have been up to recently; went to a very cool boot-fair in Battersea (just down the road from my flat) and I got some cool 40's postcards with notes on the back, 3 of them to the same person with cool notes on and even better pictures, and also two butterfly badges which are translucent glitter; one pink and one clear, it was only 50 p to get in and there was lots of bargains to be had....definitely will go again.

The weather was beautiful this weekend, very very hot and sunny, everybody was out in London and happy, mainly with the smallest amount on clothes on, but big smiles. We went to Isabella Plantations in Richmond park after the fair and had a great time and a good walk, all the flowers where beautiful and I took some cool photos.

I have next week off work and have a few things planned; hopefully I won't give into getting pissed like I did last time I had time off and not do what I had planned. I will be applying for a job in my time off which is the best job I have ever found so far, hopefully I will get a interview after I have sent my cover letter and CV.

Work has been OK recently and I feel although I have been trying and nearly doing my best which has felt more for filling.

Hopefully will do some more updates next week when I have had some time off.

x

Thursday, 20 May 2010

No hope

As I sit here, I have a number of worries; what will I do when my boss moves (I'll have to get a new job, am I good enough for a new place, will any other company like me?); will I ever be able to be happy? What does my happiness boil down to? I can tell you it doesn't boil down to:

  • Having a well paid and busy job
  • Living in a nice flat
  • Being able to buy more or less whatever I desire
  • Living in London and having access to drink and drugs whenever required
  • Not achieving my goals
I seem to be moving in circles. I need some sort of manifestation....I need to know what I really want from life. I don't really care too much if I actually own a house any more as that seems so unrealistic no matter how much I may push my stress levels and myself up the career ladder, I don't care too much whether I have a degree or not, but it matters in my choice of career which would be something revolving around being organised; socialising; changing the world for he better (which includes getting more jobs back to the UK in the regions where work moral and general moral is low - we need to stop using overseas call centers and dare I say we need to start growing our own crops again over here - maybe global warming could be on our side with that one...?); working outside sometimes and inside others; caring less about money and more about friends, family and happiness.

What makes me happy; walking in forests and parks; laughing; doing exercise: cooking fresh tasty food; dancing; singing; making things; having good constructive or meaningful talks with loved ones; educating myself about things I care about (politics, chemical use in food and cosmetics, economics, the environment, ethical & frugal living; getting back to basics).