Thursday, 27 October 2011

Mistakes: Jazz Hands

To avoid situations in which you might make mistakes may be the biggest mistake of all. 
Peter McWilliams
Haha, I always try to avoid mistakes, but I still make them!! My day yesterday was very much like a roller-coaster ride, I was up and down, but eventually after a soothing hot bath I had a massive cry and today I feel a lot lighter.  Lovely. A massive thanks to Aaron for always being there for me and picking up the pieces! I love you.
More about mistakes:  we can all make silly mistakes like getting a fine on public transport or acting a bit silly when we're pissed.  The mistakes that I generally try to avoid are the ones that hurt other people, although unfortunately sometimes I am still a slave to my emotions and can even be aware of how angry I am and why it is unreasonable, but still act on it or lock myself away or try to avoid people that I will take it out on. 

I suppose I will need to change my thinking on this, because if I think I need to avoid others when I am feeling angry or anxious then I will continue doing so instead of dealing with my actual emotions.  The easiest idea is to not pre-empt anything going wrong but take away all assumptions I have and live from a "clean slate" everyday.  It can be easier said then done, especially when dealing with extremely traumatising experiences or feelings. 
Also part of letting go of feelings about the past can be forgiving yourself for hurting others through your mistakes. 

So, I think I will be going to counselling to help with those experiences, I am especially interested in somatic therapy after reading about it yesterday, and after some of the funky sounds coming out of my mouth. There are some good articles and coping techniques on Helpguide which is a free non sponsored resource. 

Having some form of anxiety about making mistakes is natural, and even more so in current conditions, where some people feel they need to be perfect to be accepted into society.  This can be seen through excessive dieting or consumerism which is seen as acceptable behaviour leading to happiness.  However deep down, being skinny or having loads of the latest gadgets or clothes isn't going to make you happy.  

Obviously there is no straight answer as to what will make one happy, but I started looking at what things I enjoyed as a child and as I was growing up and tried to incorporate those into my world instead of just learning things to get the best paying job.  Of course now I am not currently working, but studying something that I find intensely interesting, humans and their society. 

And then there is of course, not taking life too seriously. 

Let's listen to some morning jazz; which I think helps to be light hearted even about the hardest situations. Big Joe Turner and the Pete Johnson Trio's
And Fats Waller

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