Tuesday, 25 October 2011

New post new post new post

Quit hanging on to the handrails . . . Let go. Surrender. Go for the ride of your life. Do it every day.

Melody Beattie

Not feeling my best today, seem to be succumbing to some past memories....I think I'll do a meditation this morning to try and help me let go of past feelings.  I suppose I am not feeling exactly down in the dumps and suicidal like I do sometimes, but I am feeling a bit resentful.  

I think my resentment usually comes down to some sort of fear, especially when I relate it to my past experiences, I fear not being good enough or being ugly and fat compared to other girls, of not being loved or good enough.  Ultimately I think this comes down to my own confidence and self-love, which can only be improved slowly. 

What I can do to cheer myself up today and live in the moment; see my friends, take some photos, make something (papier mache - amazing website here), read, go to the gym, get other bits and pieces done around the house like arranging my car boot sale bits.

I can also add my resentments and fears to my piece of paper to burn over halloween.  

I have some really beautiful clothes that I cleared out of my cupboard, I was going to sell them on eBay, but I am now thinking of going to a clothes swap, namely Mrs Bears one, which is good as I can have a look around first and then if I see anything I would like for me or someone else, I can swap.

Maybe I'll also go and get the figs to make jam with. For christmas this year we are planning to make a small box of food and bits for presents, as to not buy in the consumerism of christmas and to celebrate with food.  I have thought of loads of things to make, fig jam, crackers, bread, pie, apple and pear jam, apple sauce, cranberry sauce, biscuits, cheese biscuits.  The list goes on!! 

I was also thinking that I would like to put reusable water bottles like this picture below in, filled with juice or wine or something that people can then have 'for life' instead of plastic water bottles.  And I would also like to put napkins in place of using paper kitchen towel....we'll see.  It all depends on if I am organised enough with my time. 

I had a wonderful dinner last night at my friend Callum's, we had stuffed tomatoes and mushrooms followed by buckwheat noodles with tofu, pak choi and sea bass fillet, and then the most wonderful chocolate mousse for pudding.  Lovely, it was also energising to see some people I haven't seen in an age.

One of my favourite Analogik songs below...because it is sinister, funny and reminds me of some good times I had when I was travelling

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