I can forgive, but I cannot forget" is only another way of saying, "I will not forgive."
Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note--torn in two and burned up so that it never can be shown against one.
Sometimes I find it hard to forgive, it seems like the whole feeling or situation is out of my minds eye and then, BAM, within 1 minute I am raving angry about something that happened over 6 months ago. Now, I'm no doctor, but I am sure there is a way around this...
The Innerspace talk I went to yesterday was all about this; Letting Go and Letting Come. An hour and a half long talk with a guided meditation about how to let go of old feelings and labels of ourselves, to let in for the new.
The crowd was greeted with Om Shanti which is a yogi saying and translates to I am a peaceful soul: it can be said on meeting others instead of hello to wish them a peaceful soul too. It can also be used as a mantra for when you are feeling stressed or have racing, negative or wasteful thoughts.
I have so much I could write about the talk, so to get to the point the best parts: to let go of everything, to forgive yourself and others is to know yourself. Without knowing yourself you cannot have self respect or self love.
When you forgive someone else, it is not for their benefit! In some situations, do you think they really care if you forgive them or not? It is for your benefit. You should question why you don't want to forgive the person, are you scared of letting go? Equally what do you gain by holding on to the event or judgement you have?
To know who you really are, you need to be able to see yourself without labels. Labels like: I am a teacher, I am a good daughter, I am a criminal, I am a nice person, I wear Prada. These labels can also be applied to other people and your preconceptions with them. To let go of these labels and preconceptions for yourself and others is to be free of expectation and free to accept that person for who they are on that day.
Thoughts are what create your feelings, and your thoughts are the only thing you have control over. You cannot control another persons behavior no matter how much you try, you cannot stop a nuclear war (that doesn't mean not to campaign)..but I am sure you get the point. If we control our thoughts, we should make sure they are positive and not wasteful.
Wasteful thoughts can be going over and over again about a situation that you wish was different, reminding yourself what you have to do later that day, worrying, over thinking...loads! If you live for the day and take your lessons from the past and not worry about tomorrow, you are free to enjoy your life.
Haha, after re-reading this through I realise it might sound pretentious, but honestly I have seen the benefits of letting go (more of labels and preconceptions of myself and others) over the last year....it has been eye opening and I have got a lot more of what I need in my life.
I know it's a lot to take in (at least for me) but, I found it helpful and inspiring. I am grateful that I was brought up in an open minded household.
Innerspace does loads of FREE meditations, short courses and Sunday talks all tailored around improving your life.
If you are super stressed or have low self esteem or just want to relax a little more...I recommend them.