Thursday, 5 July 2012

Great Full Ness

“Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need.”

- Sarah Ban Breathnach

I've been feeling a bit down the past couple of days, not as much I have in the past - but still after about 9 weeks of feeling great, it is a strange feeling.

It's very easy to tell others how to live their lives and cheer themselves up, or do certain things to make them feel better. But, it is a slightly different situation when it comes to doing that for yourself. 

I suppose a good place to start is to congratulate myself for things I have achieved recently:
 
1. Being a tidier person (even though Aaron does not seem to recognise this AT ALL).

2. Eating less sugar.

3. Going to hot yoga.

4. Passing my course and getting into good Uni's without any problems.

5. Committing to myself and going to counselling.

6. Abstaining from drinking.

Despite all of the above I am still beating myself up and wishing I applied to other Uni's or got into Cambridge...This comes from me always beating myself up and not focusing on the positive things that have happened, just the negative.

So my situation is: feeling like I didn't actually achieve anything.

Emotion is: feeling sad and worthless, like I can't do anything.

Physical sensations: feeling low energy, like I can't be bothered to do anything.

Unhelpful thoughts: Why couldn't I just do better, will I even pass Uni?  Everybody thinks I am stupid.

Alternative/more realistic thought:  I have achieved a really high pass with 42 units at distinction, 18 at merit and the rest high passes.....which is actually not that bad and accounts distinctions for over 2/3 of my grades....it really is actually good.  I should give myself a big pat on the back and look forward to going to Uni as it is a goal I set myself a while back.

This technique is part of CBT, which I find extremely helpful - although I don't know if it will work for everyone.  There are LOADS of worksheets here

Also a gratitude list:
 
1. I am grateful for my friends and family.

2. I am grateful for my current approach to life which really helps me.

3. I am grateful for music and having ears that can listen to it.

4. I am grateful to not be the only person that has experienced hardship in life...and to have the mass amounts of advise and support that I get.

5. I am grateful for all of the support with the wedding.

6. I am grateful for the beautiful house we get to live in that keeps me warm and safe.

7. I am grateful for all the life experiences I have had - without them I wouldn't be able to be me, or to have connections with others.

8. I am grateful to live in a place where I can get access to organic food.

9. I am grateful to have been travelling and have seen other cultures.

10. I am grateful I have a great support network.
 
My angel card for today: spontaneity! dictionary meaning: the quality of being spontaneous and coming from natural feelings without constraint; "the spontaneity of his laughter".

A good message to take from this: Live spontaneously and creatively with the courage to make your life what you want it to be. (borrowed from this blog). 

Cool.  Today I will be grateful, spontaneous and have compassion for myself and others....

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